I want to continue sharing some of our family’s traditions during the holiday season…but first I’m going to share a brief overview of how we approach our interfaith family lifestyle.
As an interfaith (intercultural) family, we celebrate many holidays, including both Hanukkah and Christmas – and no, they really are not similar holidays in any way other than the time of year and that they’ve both been commercialized into gift-giving consumerism-focused occasions over the years.
I was raised in an interfaith family and now have an interfaith family of my own. My mother and I are Jewish and my father is Methodist – he is very involved in his church but has always supported and encouraged me to learn about and embrace my own Jewish identity. My husband grew up celebrating Christmas and Easter…but now he also helps me to celebrate Hanukkah and other (more important) Jewish holidays.
My multi-religious experience did shape my beliefs – it also helped me to appreciate and respect other backgrounds and religions.
*Being Jewish does not just mean a religious affiliation. It is a culture, a tribe. You can be a Jewish person and have no desire for a personal connection to the religious aspect of Judaism.
These experiences helped me to see a bigger picture in many ways…
As a student of history I recognize that religion has been used as a weapon to start wars and cause great destruction. It’s been used to incite hate from one group against another – and I do not believe in that. I’ve also seen many people who claim to be religious and righteous and yet are hateful and judgmental in their behaviors – people from all backgrounds and affiliations.
I will never understand the use of someone’s religious beliefs or cultural backgrounds (or skin color, gender identity, who they love…) to harm another. I guess that’s the sad world we live in – but it doesn’t have to be. Sharing and learning and listening and talking with people from different backgrounds only helps to grow our global community stronger and foster a sense of camaraderie and acceptance.
I wouldn’t say I’m a very “religious person” – more spiritual. I believe in G-d and many of my personal beliefs align with Judaism, but I’m not a firm believer in any right or wrong way to have a relationship with G-d.
I am Jewish. My culture is Jewish. My heart is Jewish. But I can still love, learn about, and appreciate the religions and cultures of others.
As a child I would go to Sunday school and Hebrew school and participate in my Synagogue regularly…but sometimes I would also go to Church with my dad on Christmas and Easter. I even went to vacation Bible camp while visiting with my Grandparents in Arkansas.
I’m thankful to have been able to learn and meld two backgrounds together throughout my life and now pass on my knowledge and experiences to my own family – and through that create our own traditions.
I do believe there were many advantages to my multicultural upbringing, however, looking back I definitely remember moments where I felt like I had to assimilate into a Christian-focused atmosphere – most often in public school and work-related situations – in order to fit in. I have a lot of mixed feelings about all of that, but I’m choosing to focus right now on the positive aspects of being able to straddle that line and enjoy the beauty of celebrating both holidays.
I think it’s important to hold each part of our cultures in their respective and special places in our hearts. Celebrating Christmas with my family does not diminish or lessen my love of Hanukkah – or any other special occasion we celebrate.
I will say that while we may celebrate some Christian holidays like Christmas and Easter, my family chooses to focus on the more secular aspects of those occasions (more tree, cookies, Easter bunny + family dinners). I may continue to attend church with my father on Christmas, but it’s the spirit of the season that matters most to me, personally. (Plus, I love the sermons given on Christmas Eve and always find them to be thoughtful and lovely in theme).
Gathering with friends and family, finding ways to show you love someone – not necessarily with a gift but by spending time together, cooking a special meal, sending a card. Sharing traditions. We find ways to celebrate that are meaningful to our family, and for us that usually doesn’t involve a lot of the religious aspects of the holiday.
Basically, we do what works for us…
I feel comfortable celebrating Christmas as a Jewish person because I’ve done so all my life and I’ve enjoyed it…but that’s me. I don’t believe in a “right” or “wrong” way to be Jewish…and I don’t believe in a “right” or “wrong” way to celebrate occasions that mean something to your family. Do what works for you, share your stories and what you love about different holidays…If it feels good in your heart, then it’s right.
xoxo
Miss Mariss
I will share more on my personal relationship with Judaism in another post at another time, but for now I just want to wish everyone a very happy, healthy and safe holiday season.
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MissMariss 
Your family will grow up blessed on how to accept and be loved.
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Wonderful story! Keep up the great work on interfaith parenting. It pays off.
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